$5,000 beer glasses made of cheese? $5,000 beer glasses made of cheese. Wine glasses too.

In the news business, we get a lot of emails. A. Lot. Of. Emails. Some are statements on ongoing news events from politicians. Others are pitches for upcoming events. Still others are press releases from police agencies, prosecutors or governing bodies.

I once received a press release about an event that contained 10 (Ten!) different colors of font and used more exclamation points than I've Shift-1'd in my life.

All of this to say, today, after almost a decade of sorting through hundreds of relevant and thousands of irrelevant of pitches, the most magnificent press release ever has landed in the inbox, emphasis mine:

Good afternoon,
 
I thought you might be interested in this exciting news from Finlandia®, one of the most highly regarded cheese brands in America, who today announced that to toast the 100th Anniversary of its native Finland, which will be celebrated on Wednesday, December 6, it has created the world’s first wine and beer glasses made entirely of cheese! A perfect storm for beer, wine and cheese enthusiasts alike, the limited-edition, hand-crafted and fully edible “Commemorative Cheeseware,” which include a wine and beer glass, will be available for one day only at the smooth and delicious price of $5,000 in honor of Finland’s centennial celebration.
 
Made in partnership with top food sculptors, Jim Victor and Marie Pelton, these masterfully created vessels provide the traditional functionality of glassware but can be eaten and enjoyed when the cheese craving strikes! Emblazoned with an edible Finnish flag and made from the purest milk in the world with nothing artificial and no added hormones, the Commemorative Beer Mug is a 16-ounce pint glass made from Finlandia Imported Gruyere, a delicious cheese with slightly sweet and fruity flavors, perfect for pairing with stout, bock, wheat beer, Hefeweizen and more.  The Commemorative Wine Glass is an 8-ounce stemless glass sculpted from Finlandia Imported Gouda, a rich, nutty and sweet cheese, which pairs best with merlot and other full-bodied red wines.
 
I have included a press release below with full details on this exciting announcement as well as following link where you can download high-res photos and b-roll of the “Commemorative Cheeseware.”

OK, so the pitch was sent to the right audience. That's undeniable. Who doesn't, generally speaking, enjoy the occasional beer and also cheese? Wine is also good. But... $5,000? My car isn't worth that much.

More from Finlandia, my new favorite cheese company I've never heard of until just now:

“To celebrate the 100th anniversary of Finland, we wanted to create something symbolic that is a gesture to the dozens of Finnish family-owned farms who have dedicated over 110 years of passion and dedication to making some of the world’s very best cheeses,” said Marcie Foster, Director of Marketing and Brand Development for Finlandia. “Our Commemorative Cheeseware deliver exactly that as they create the opportunity to toast the accomplishments of our company’s heritage while showcasing the legendary taste and the quality craftmanship that Finlandia Cheese customers have grown to expect.”

I can't afford the legendary taste and quality craftsmanship, but I can 'carve' out a little space for you on the internet, Finlandia's commemorative cheeseware. Kippis!