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We cover craft beer news, entertainment and lifestyle, 24/7 here at ACB. And sometimes that news of the day can get pretty ridiculous… And here are some drunken stories from 2017 that caught our attention.…
Drunken Time Traveler from 2048
In October Casper, Wyoming police reportedly arrested Bryant Johnson for public intoxication. Protesting his innocence Johnson claimed that he was in fact from the future and had travelled back in time to warn authorities that interstellar colonists would soon be making a course for earth!
Johnson credited that his time-traveling ability to the fact that aliens had filled his body with some kind of intergalactic alcohol and instructed him to stand on a giant time travel launch pad.
However the aliens’ device apparently sent the alcohol-addled Johnson, to the wrong point in time (2017, not 2018), otherwise this would have been one of next year’s best drunk stories.
Don’t Drink And Sell Cars
Last September, a New Zealand man sold his car for enough money to continue a night of binge-drinking and in the morning, having already forgotten what he’d done, he reported it stolen.
According to the NZ Herald the individual (whose name was thankfully not released) did receive $800 for his vehicle (the make and model also undisclosed) and local police connected him with the car’s new owner so they could work things out.
Drunken Vegan Goes Berserk At McDonalds
ACB’s Tom Bobak – Not a great drunk story
In December a drunk vegan in Sydney, Australia went nuts at a McDonald’s drive-through after a night of drinking and ordered 200 chicken McNuggets.
He then apparently remembered that he was a vegan (a fact he claimed later in court) and added an additional 200 hash browns to his order in a futile attempt to upgrade his look.
Upon receiving the additional hash browns Kole Olson reportedly decided that they were no longer to his liking. And he attempted to secure a refund from the staff (who at this point had locked themselves in the restaurant in fear for their safety), by honking his car’s horn and taking four laps around the now barricaded McDonalds.
Olsen was fined $1,000, banned from driving for nine months and sentenced to a one-year good behavior bond. And his drunken escapade last year went viral.
One Drunk’s Long Walk Home
Who among us hasn’t considered strolling home after a night of over-imbibing? But were talking a walk here, something to help a person sober up, not a pilgrimage.
Last January a Lincoln, UK individual decided he’d walk home after a pub celebration, an almost 50 mile expedition. A third of the way into his epic journey the beer-saturated man crashed in a garden where he was discovered by its owners and turned over to the police.
The local police, being very decent and very British, flushed him with cups of tea and pointed him in the direction of the nearest bus stop…And the rest is forgotten history.
